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Perfectionism And Anxiety | How To Accept Yourself And Stop Trying To Be Perfect

Written by Erin Porter

Definition of perfectionism- a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.  With that definition now you can see how perfectionism and anxiety can go together.  I thought it was a great time to repost this as I had a less than perfect experience professionally last month.  When I am through licking my wounds I will share my story with all of you, but this all just a part of life we have to accept.  Things will not always be perfection.   I have also included my “perfect bbq chicken pizza” recipe below.

bbq chicken pizza

Perfectionism Causes Anxiety

We hear a lot of people throw around the idea that they are a “perfectionist”.  The self proclaimed perfectionists usually wear it like a  badge of honor and are somehow even more perfect for letting the world know they are perfectionists. Let me tell you from a true perfectionists point of view.  It is NOT a good thing.

I have been holding onto this recipe for almost two months.  Why didn’t I release it?  I was not happy with the picture below (scroll down to see imperfect photo) that went along with the recipe.  Why not, you ask?  The spinach looks wilted.  It’s not actually wilted, we all know this is just what cooked spinach looks like.  But in food photography, most food you prepare for a photo actually gets photographed BEFORE it’s fully cooked, just for this reason.

Dislikes continued -the tomatoes in the background are dented, and the extra bbq sauce I sprinkled on top for a “yummy effect” ended up looking more like a crime scene.  So I waited.  And waited some more, until I had time to re-do the shoot so everything could be picture perfect.  See perfect picture above (spoken in jest).  It got me thinking, or realizing something about myself.  Real life is not full of do overs, and nothing is always picture perfect! And your pizza WILL actually look more like the bottom picture when you take it out of the oven so don’t make my perfect picture above make you feel bad about yourself.

Stop Waiting For Everything To Be Perfect

So now, instead of beating yourself up and feeling bad that your homemade pizza did not turn out as beautiful as my perfect picture above, you can feel good about yourself while you are eating your pizza.  This picture below is much more like real life. Messy, imperfect, full of mistakes, sometimes a little battered, but still delicious!  The sooner we accept ourselves and stop trying to be perfect the less anxious we will be.

Embrace The Fact That You Are Not Perfect

I am learning to embrace and accept the fact that I am not perfect and I am trying hard not to strive for perfection.  In the past, if I wasn’t my best on any given day as a wife, a mother, a friend, or at work, I felt as if I had to start all over from scratch and try to be perfect the next day.

What does that type of thinking lead to?  Feelings of not being deserving, as well as it creates expectations of others to do everything in the same manner we would, and it sets us up for perpetual failure. As the saying goes,“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.”  Easing up on ourselves and learning to enjoy those imperfect moments helps us gain a sense of calm. If I allow myself to look at the positive side of things, my original imperfect pizza photo lead me to write this perfect post.  Kidding (sort of).

a barbecue chicken pizza


Barbeque Chicken Pizza

Erin Porter
Enjoy this quick and easy gluten free Barbeque Chicken Pizza!
Course Main Dishes


  • Namaste gluten free Pizza Crust Mix (does not contain yeast/wheat/sugar)
  • Mozzarella Cheese
  • Chicken Breast
  • Spinach
  • Barbeque Sauce (we all know bbq sauce is typically full of sugar so the options I use are either use Nature's Hollow brand which is sweetened slightly with xylitol or the recipe below from Doug Kaufmann's book "Eating your way to good health")
  • 2 tbsp Melted butter
  • 2 tbsp Chopped green bell pepper
  • 1 cup Water
  • 1 cup Tomato juice
  • 2 tsp Mustard power
  • 1 tsp Salt
  • 1 tsp Celery seed
  • 2 tbsp Honey or stevia to taste
  • 2 tsp Lemon juice


  • Prepare pizza crust as directed on box.
  • Take out of oven and add desired amount of bbq sauce, mozzarella cheese, spinach and chicken.
  • Place back in the oven for approximately 10 minutes or until cheese has melted. Enjoy!


Kaufmann 2 Diet (Kaufmann Phase II)

Erin Porter
Erin Porter
I have been fortunate to be featured on national Television including PBS American Health Journal, Know the Cause, CTN, ABC, NBC, CBS and more. I was sick for decades, endured many surgeries, took over 100 courses of antibiotics, and then I changed everything and everything changed.

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About Erin

I have been fortunate to be featured on national Television including PBS American Health Journal, Know the Cause, CTN, ABC, NBC, CBS and more. I was sick for decades, endured many surgeries, took over 100 courses of antibiotics, and then I changed everything and everything changed. My book Eat Pray Get Well is about overcoming a tumultuous childhood, decades of chronic illness, and finding God in the process. Includes exclusive interviews with renowned Cardiologist Dr. Stephen Sinatra, Supermodel Carol Alt, Doug Kaufmann, and many more. Plus 55 gluten free recipes woven throughout. 

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