Okay so nobody WANTS to be miserable, but if you find yourself doing any of these seven things you just may find yourself there in a hurry.
1) Compare yourself to other people. Carry around a yard stick and measure yourself to the people around you. Are you as smart? As pretty? As funny? As talented? When we feel on top of our competition we feel great but then we are thrown off balance when when we find ourselves not measuring up. There will ALWAYS be someone smarter, prettier, funnier so the sooner you except that the happier you will be. I used to compare myself to everyone and it’s a guaranteed recipe for misery. Just try to be your best self at all times and accept yourself.
2) Constantly have YOURSELF on your mind. It would seem the more you try to meet your own needs the happier you would be right? Wrong! The more you get your mind off yourself and onto others the happier you will find yourself. Try it. It works!
3) Be selfish. Don’t share your thoughts, knowledge, self, recipes, money, ideas, etc.
4) Don’t easily forgive. We all learned how important it is to forgive in kindergarten and we all know what it feels like to hold a grudge against someone. Iv’e heard it compared to drinking poison and hoping your enemies will die. In other words you are only hurting yourself. Forgive and move on but know not everyone deserves to be a part of your life. This can even include family members if that relationship does not add positivity to your life.
5) Negative self talk. “That was so stupid”, or “how could I have said that”! I stopped this self bashing a few years ago and I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I never allow myself to utter those kinds of words under my breath anymore and my self esteem has increased two fold.
6) Care about what everyone thinks about you. Have your self esteem teeter on what everyone thinks about you at any given moment. The truth is most people are not even thinking about you because they are so focused on themselves. Besides, humans are fickle and we can change how we feel about any person or situation several times in the matter of minutes.
7) Expect everyone to like you! And if they don’t, try to figure out what may be wrong with you. I think one of the most freeing things I ever heard was that 10% of people will not like me. Or you! And it doesn’t matter how nice you are, smart you are, funny, or giving. It doesn’t matter, they will not like you! Wow, isn’t that freeing? Move on to the people that think you are fantastic. There are about 90% of those! I taught my son this very early in life. If someone doesn’t want to be his friend he says “oh they are in my 10%…moving on” and it doesn’t damage his self worth. I wish I was armed with this information when I was younger.
I hope this sets somebody “free” from misery today. Take it from someone with experience. Life is SO much richer when you ditch the miserable 7!